Shit People Say to Me in the Vendor’s Room Volume III, What’s in a Name? and Looking for a Volunteer!

Here come the latest gems, y’all! DCCon was full of experiences, most of them quite fantastic, and other moments, well…read on! As always, let me preface this by saying I’m sure none of these things were said with maliciousness, at … Continue reading

Shit People Say to Me in the Vendor’s Room Volume 2

Yes, it’s that time of the month again – no, not THAT! Although it might seem that way after you read this one… This is a short but sweet post – just needed to get it out there! So it’s … Continue reading

Highlighting My Charity Pieces

One of the things I love most of all about my #SPNFamily is how giving and compassionate y’all are. I am very honored to be able to contribute my part and have been approved to do work for several organizations … Continue reading

Shit People Say to Me in the Vendor’s Room

I absolutely love meeting people at the Supernatural conventions – it’s the highlight of working at them. I get to know you better, you ask me about my process, my inspirations, I get to learn what you like and you … Continue reading

Passion for Houston, Awesome New SPN Characters, and Goodies for 2016

PASSION FOR HOUSTON

Three years ago I was looking at starting my dream of making my jewelry designs my career.  Starting my business from the ground up.

While I still have a way to go to get my business where it needs to be in order for it to be stable, I’m finally able to do this full time.  Who do I have to thank? Every single one of you who have been there for me, who believed in me, and even if you couldn’t buy something, you always told me how much you wanted to.

Kelcy Yount is a woman who is driven.  She knows exactly what she wants for Passion Earth Collections and breathes, eats, sleeps it every single day.  I want Kelcy, a lovely member of our SPNFamily to achieve her goal of growing her business so she can support herself and her beautiful family consisting of her husband and her son, Ethan.

The final leap of faith is happening and Kelcy needs our support to get her business underway.  The first thing she needs to do is get to Houston Con to help her establish a solid customer base.

You can help her get there by donating to her GoFundMe campaign – I’m donating the perks!

If you donate $10 you get a free Supernatural keyring from me!

If you donate $25 you’ll get a free stamped piece from me!

If you donate $50 you’ll be a guest on my Supernatural-themed livestream show So Get This!!

If you’re unable to donate, you can always share Go Fund Me Campaign

You can also see Kelcy’s work here in her Passion Earth shop

AWESOME NEW SPN CHARACTERS!

All items pictured (except Hocus Pocus) are available now in my etsy shop

‘Into the Mystic’ was such a great episode for several reasons.  One that blew my and my daughter Raven’s minds was the character Eileen, portrayed by Shoshannah Stern.

Eileen is a hunter who is hearing impaired.  As most of y’all know, Raven was born deaf and has cochlear implants.  When Raven saw Eileen and realized she was also deaf, she and I were so excited and grateful to the Supernatural team for creating this amazing hero.

Not only is Eileen a hunter, but she’s a grounded person who is true to herself.  She inspired me to create a piece called “Eileen’s Focus”

EileensFocus4

Another character I was so excited to see was Mildred, portrayed by the perfection that is Dee Wallace.

I strongly believe that her character was based on her own personality, thrumming with positivity and sage advice.  Mildred inspired this piece called, “Mildred’s Sunset”

Mildred4

2016 – Making it My Bitch!

Yes, that’s my motto for 2016 – “Make 2016 Your Bitch!” (because I’m classy like that)

2016 is going to be chock-ful of branching into new and undiscovered territory for me.

I’m starting to get my pieces into films, which I am very pleased about.  I currently have a piece in the upcoming short film ‘Homeowner’ -written by Natalie Kruijen, directed by Ryan Curtis, and starring Briana Buckmaster!

Briana Homeowner

I was personally asked by the Hillywood Sisters to replicate Bette Midler’s character Winifred’s jewelry for their Hocus Pocus parody:

Hocus Pocus 2

And lots of stuff in store for my weekly livestream show So Get This!  I’ve got several major kick ass guests I’m working on scheduling (they’ve committed to doing the show, but I can’t announce them until we’ve got a date booked!), as well as an epic idea I have to credit to my husband, Merrill.

We were talking about how much fun the interview I had with Justin Daube was (he’s the cosplayer I interviewed on So Get This while he was in character as Castiel and can be seen here: https://youtu.be/GZmYWf9k29Y) and Merrill said I should have other cosplayers on as well and interview them in character and hold contests!

Are you a serious cosplayer who can not only walk the walk but talk the talk?  Email me jodizulueta@gmail.com with SO GET THIS COSPLAY in the subject line. I  will contact you to schedule an audition we will do via google hangouts!

If you are selected to be interviewed on the show, you will be put into a contest after each of the interviews have aired to see who the viewers will choose as So Get This Cosplay Champion!
The winner will receive goodies to be announced at a future time!

Another thing I’ve been working on for 2016 is branching out into other fandoms such as The Walking Dead (which I’ve been doing for years  but not dedicating a lot of time to it), Once Upon a Time, and of course, Star Wars including the original trilogy and Star Wars the Force Awakens.

Within the coming week or so I will be debuting an X-Files line!  So stay tuned!

SPECIAL 20% OFF DISCOUNT FOR NEWSLETTER SUBSCRIBERS! ENDS SUNDAY, 1/31!

If you’d like to receive daily newsletters telling you what’s going on in Eldwenne’s Fantasy, send an email with ADD ME in the subject line.  You’ll get a 20% off coupon code that’s valid now through midnight tomorrow night, 1/31!  Restrictions apply so please read the rules posted in my shop announcement at the top of my etsy shop!

If you refer a friend to subscribe to my newsletter, make sure you tell them to include your name in the email so I can send you a special discount!

Eldwenne Book Submission Deadline!

I’m compiling a book of photos of y’all wearing my gear!  The submission deadline is 1/31 and you’ll be in fantastic company with the likes of Kim Rhodes, Briana Buckmaster, Ruth Connell, JARED PADALECKI AND JENSEN ACKLES, and MORE!

Email your photos to Eldwenne@Yahoo.com with Eldwenne Book in the subject line or tweet them to me @eldwenne with #eldwennebook

Thanks y’all!
Jodi

 

 

 

 

ABQComicCon and Why Lisa Berry is a Goddess

Albuquerque ComicCon – the final frontier.  These are the voyages of Passion Earth Collections and Eldwenne’s Fantasy.  Seeking out new customers and new fangirling experiences. To boldly go where…oh you know where I’m going with this! Passion Earth Collections aka … Continue reading

An Open Letter to Han Solo

 

 

It was 1977.  My parents had separated and I was a six year old girl being bounced between mother and father like a hot potato.

Me in 1977.jpg

Me in 1977 – not the best quality pic, but hey – I’m lucky to have this one.  Stepmother threw away my baby pics. Read on.

 

My father stopped by to pick me up one weekend and announced he was taking me to the movies.  Well, AWESOME, because I had my heart set on watching ‘Sinbad and the Eye of the Golden Tiger.’

“No, Jodi.  We’re going to go watch Star Wars.”

“Um, what is that?”

“It’s a brand new movie that just came out and I know you’re going to love it.”

“No – I don’t know what that is.  I wanna see ‘Sinbad’!”

And so this went on for about 10 minutes or so, until my dad dragged my ungrateful ass into the car and we drove into New York City to watch this terrible life-ruining movie that I never heard of.

We arrived at the theater, I grabbed my program (yes, they used to have movie programs back in those days) and decidedly pouted my way through the movie.  Until one particular scene came up onto the screen.

Han Solo. I’m captain of the Millennium Falcon. …

Han Cantina

Well, HALLOOO!

I immediately sat upright in my seat, pulled my dad’s head down so I could whisper into his ear, “Dad! Who is THAT?!?”

And it was all downhill from there.  I was hooked.  I was a six year old girl in love with a fictional character old enough to be my dad.

But what was really interesting was that it was definitely more than a little girl’s crush on an obviously handsome actor’s portrayal of a character.

After watching Star Wars for who the hell knows how many times (yes, I managed to convince my father several times over how we needed to go watch it again), it became apparent to me that this was now my life.

Star Wars curtains hung in my bedroom at my mother’s apartment.  I had a Star Wars electric toothbrush. My bedspread and sheets matched my curtains. I had action figures galore (including 10 million Princess Leias. Princess Leia’s head always managed to break off for some reason) but the one action figure I never had was – HAN SOLO.  Irwin’s, the local toy store, never seemed to have them in stock.

This was before the interwebs, so it wasn’t like we could ebay it or something.

My husband DID manage to get my first Han Solo action figure for me when I was about 30 at a comic con!

Anyway, I digress.

I did manage to have quite a few of the figures.  My dad had his own pharmacy at the time and he had this weird little section where he was selling brass doll furniture and other brass oddities.

Well I convinced him I needed the little brass bicycle and the brass table and chair set. I mean where else was Darth Vader and Chewie going to be able to enjoy tea together?? Really!

Comic books became my bible.  I plowed through those things and couldn’t wait for the next trip to the comic book shop.

Then life took a horrible left turn and stayed in that direction for years to come.

My mother died that year.  She was only 27 and the circumstances around the death are still not closed. I was thrust into my dad’s life full time.  We did ok in his 1 bedroom apartment.

He bought me a bunny.  I named him Peter, because I was so original like that. Peter became quick friends with my cat, Camus, or Moo Cat for short.  Which isn’t actually shorter but it worked for me.

I had a handful of my comics with me, as well as my umpteenth Princess Leia action figure (damn head popped off all the time), my Darth Vader, and my R2D2. I pretended they were family and went on picnics at the brass table.  And this was before we knew Darth Vader was Leia’s father, mind  you!  I was so insightful, even back then!  Well, maybe not, but you get my gist.

Immersing myself in Star Wars helped me cope with the death of my mother because I had no closure.  My father could barely take care of himself.  But Han Solo?  He excelled at taking care of himself.  And was a hero doing it.

Don’t get me wrong – Princess Leia was my idol.  She’s strong, smart, and a leader.

But Han – Han also had all of these qualities but was an outsider.  Like me.  He didn’t fit in.  He didn’t WANT to.  He needed to get by, get his shit done, and to hell with everyone else. Like me.

Kids in school were horrible.  Because of the mystery around my mother’s death, the kids used to think it would be very amusing to them to make up how they think she must have died and taunt me with them.

“She choked on a chicken bone!”

“She was a drug addict!”

“She couldn’t stand you, so she killed herself!”

Those are a few of the gems that stayed in my memory.

I really REALLY needed to get the rest of my Star Wars toys and memorabilia out of my mother’s apartment.  It was a necessity at this point.  I was falling apart and I knew that living vicariously through Han Solo’s adventures would put me back together again.

One day at the dinner table, I said, “Dad, when can we go back to my old place and get all my Star Wars stuff?”

My dad got a weird look on his face.  He took a deep breath and said, “It’s gone.  The landlord didn’t want to wait for us, so he threw everything out.”

I felt like my world was ripped from me yet again.  I mourned the loss of my mother and now the loss of the only world that helped me get through the loss of my mother.

A year or so went by and my father in his phobia of being without a woman in his life moved us in with a woman who had two sons from a previous marriage.  One was a year older, one was 7 years younger.

We all moved into a new place together and I really looked forward to having a family again.  I never had siblings and I thought it was the coolest thing to have brothers.

Within a week of moving in together, my father’s wife made her opinion of me very clear.

Police and CPS were frequent visitors to our home.  But because of her father being a prominent figure in the police department, nothing ever came of those reports.

School would send me to the nurse constantly to check my bruises, my scratches, and eventually, my behavior.  I started to rebel in school because I had no control anywhere else in my life.

I began finding my baby pictures and my mother’s pictures in the garbage.  She was throwing them away systemically, so that they weren’t all gone all at once. I was being erased.

I tried reaching out to my dad to tell him what was going on, both with me and what she was doing to our family’s history, and he didn’t believe me.

Of course it never happened with him home.  He was working three jobs because she refused to work one and his paltry salary as a pharmacist in a mom and pop pharmacy could barely support him and me, let alone three others.

So he was never home.

I did manage to start collecting more Star Wars comics and at this point The Empire Strikes Back was out in the theaters – reinvigorating my obsession and helping me escape into the world of Hoth, Cloud City, and WHAT??

Han Solo is frozen in carbonite and THE CREDITS ARE ROLLING?? WHAT???

Boba Fett Carbonite Screen Cap

Isn’t anyone gonna STOP this MF?? The movie’s almost over!!

 

I was stunned. I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that they let him go with Boba Fett.  They abandoned him, in my mind.  The way I felt abandoned.

Then Return of the Jedi comes along and thank FUCK within the first 20 minutes that shit got resolved.  There was no way I was sitting though this movie without Han Solo being alive, snarky, and waving that damn blaster around.

The rest of my teen years were spent in not very good ways.  I won’t get into details here, but when the Star Wars movies stopped coming, I focused my energies in not healthy ways.  I needed to get out of the horrible home situation.

WWHD – What would Han do? Well, I think for one he’d have stuck his middle finger up at the world and went his merry way.  Which is pretty much what I did.

FINGER

Ok, not quite giving the finger, but you know the power of the Ford finger

 

Fast-fowarding decades into the present.  I’m middle aged, married, four children, three cats, one guinea pig, and a jewelry business.

Going to see Star Wars The Force Awakens was a religious experience for us.

We prepped the kids by having three days of original triology immersion, in order.  Do NOT get me started on the prequels.  I adore Ewan McGregor with all my heart but there’s nothing in my mind that can save those movies.

I managed to stay spoiler-free! Not ONE single factoid – true/false or otherwise made it through my senses!

We arrived at the IMAX theater, thankfully still spoiler-free.  I even went to the lengths of covering my eyes and ears in the lobby so I wouldn’t see people’s faces or hear their comments as they exited the theater.  Yup.

As I sat through the movie with my family, enjoying the looks on their faces, it really came full circle for me.

Until one pivotal moment.  SPOILER ALERT!!!

 

 

The moment Han walked onto that bridge, I knew it wasn’t going to end well.  I had ‘a bad feeling about this’.

As I saw the blade emerge from his back, I gasped, audibly.  I covered my mouth with my hands.  I stayed in that position as I watched Han place his hand on his son’s face tenderly, then fall off the bridge into oblivion.

I felt as if I fell into oblivion with him, my thoughts spiraling.  Waiting for some miraculous rescue and a medic droid to make it all better. It never came.

He didn’t get the burial he deserved.  No one said any last words on his behalf.  He was simply…gone.

Han Solo left this world without closure.  As did my mom.  Ironic, isn’t it? Yes, I do realize Han Solo is a fictional character.  However, if you read through this post, you’ll understand Han Solo’s significance in my life.

So without further ado, here is my letter to Han Solo:

Dear Han,

Your sense of survival, your quick wit, and your heart really changed my life forever from the first moment you appeared on screen when I was a  6 year old little girl.

I lost myself in your adventures through an incredibly difficult childhood up through my teens, and even through my 20s.

Now, a middle-aged woman with 4 kids, I find myself in mourning of the character that swooped in on the Millennium Falcon, helped save the galaxy, as well as this little girl at heart.

You will be remembered as being a scoundrel, a mercenary, a general, a mighty opponent, a survivor, and my hero.

May the Force be with you, Han Solo.

Jodi

Here are some Han Solo-inspired pieces you will find in my shop eldwenne.etsy.com:

Han Shot First

Han Shot First

I Love You - I Know Necklace

I Love You – I Know

 

The Death of Han Solo 2

The Death of Han Solo

 

 

May the Force be with You

So Much of the Things!!!!

I’ve got a lot to share with you guys!

First, I wanted to remind everyone that I have a brand-new coupon code in my shop, FREESHIPPING which will give you free shipping anywhere in the United States good through December 15,which will give you free shipping anywhere in the United States good through December 15.
This will include everything in my shop except for the following: fund raiser pieces (which I have a groovy new one to show you that I made in collaboration with the amazing Ruth Connell), gift certificates, and bottles.

I have a bunch of three new designs, including, A Very Supernatural Christmas. This is a special edition limited time design available now through 12/24/15:


Two pieces from my new Monsters Series:

The left is “The Djinn’s Illusion”, the right is “The Shapeshifter’s Metamorphosis “.


A new actor-inspired piece “Tahmoh’s Serenity”

A new character piece, “Officer Doug’s Sentiment “:

A new themed piece “Wayward Daughters Academy”:


And much more!

The new fundraiser piece is a piece Ruth Connell and are using to fundraise for My Hope Chest, an organization that provides funding for women who have had mastectomies and need reconstructive surgery.


I am donating 80% of the sales to My Hope Chest. For more on My Hope Chest, visit them here: My Hope Chest

In my YouTube Livestream show news, I’ve recently interviewed many amazing people including three special edition episodes where I interview Jennifer Copping (Sandra Phelan), Lauren Tom (Mama Tran), Samantha Smith (Mary Winchester) , Lindsey McKeon (Tessa the Reaper), Lisa Berry (Billie the Reaper) Katie Sarife (Marie) Emily Fonda (Ann Marie) and Cora Idle, chairperson of the Ladies of SPN Con.

Other recent interviews include a one on one with Emily Fonda, Brendan Taylor (Officer Doug), Kelcy of Passion Earth Collections (her work is beautiful, please check it out!) and Justin Daub, an actor who specializes in improv – I conducted the interview with him in character as Castiel.

If you want to see these videos, just subscribe to me at  So Get This Every week you’ll have the opportunity to ask the guests questions via chat live!

There’s always a giveaway too – either for an actual piece or for a gift certificate!

My jewelry is also making it to both the big screen and YouTube screen! Most recently in yesterday’s Hocus Pocus Parody done by the Hillywood Show! I made the set Winifred dons through the whole amazing production!


My jewelry will also be in Homeowner, a short film written by Natalie aka @weirdowhowrites and directed by Ryan Curtis.

I’ll also be interviewing Natalie and Ryan on next week’s episode of So Get This!

There’s also an upcoming short film, Valla, where my pieces will be featured!

Watch this space for details!

I’m also trying to get to the Albuquerque Comic Con in January – keep your fingers crossed! This will be the first non-SPN con for me ever!

Speaking of SPN Cons, I’ll be at EVERY con in 2016, I hope to see you there!

People who buy from me directly at cons get a special coupon for my online shop!

Additionally, it’s a great opportunity to give back – I always have raffles for a $50 gift certificate with 100% of the proceeds from the raffles donated in a 50-50 split between Random Acts and Homeboy Industries!

And don’t forget my ongoing fundraiser for the Always Keep Fighting campaign where 50% of the proceeds is donated to To Write Love on Her Arms:


  
I do custom stamping, customize anything and everything, and also offer a service where I design a piece specifically about YOU!

Just send me a convo in etsy at Eldwenne’s Fantasy where I have everything shown here and more and I’ll create for you!

I love my SPN Family and I appreciate all that you do, your love and support!

One Year Later

One Year Later

Where am I?

Here I am, in the quaint town of Murfreesboro, Tennessee.  I flew down here 1 year ago this week, ready to take on the world by teaching math to children with learning disabilities in an economically disadvantaged middle school, by continuing to build my jewelry business, and by helping my family adapt to southern living.

Just a few little things.

Most of us know how the teaching gig went, right? I always had the utmost respect for my children’s teachers – but now??  HOLY FUCKSHIT THEY NEED TO BE CANNONIZED.

I enjoyed teaching very much.  I LOVE the kids, even the ones that I’m sure were trying to kill me slowly, But my biggest challenge was dealing with an administration that did not have a strong special education background (not that I did either), and was fighting me to the hilt on everything.

Most of my time was spent speaking to other special education teachers to get their opinions, ideas, suggestions, and borrowing materials in order to be successful.  Methods I garnered from special education veterans were disparaged by administration.

Simple example – kids with learning disabilities benefit from repetition.  One of my methods of implementing that was something akin to a game of telephone.

I asked, “What is the formula for perimeter, Jose?”

“Add all sides!” he proudly replied.

“Great!  Now tell your neighbor, Jonathan.”
“Jonathan, the formula for perimeter is add all sides.”
I then said, “Jonathan, please tell your neighbor, Daniel, the formula for perimeter.”

This would go around the class and the last student would then repeat the formula to me.

The principal stated that instead of doing that I should’ve had them repeat it in unison.  And she deducted points off my rating for that.

Really?  Having the class repeat in unison where maybe three kids actually say it, two kids lip sync it and the rest of the class just sit there is more effective than having each student accountable for repeating it and being actively engaged in an activity??

This is just one of many examples of how the administration made it impossible for me to do my job.

I was teaching a Life Skills class, switched out of said Life Skills class into resource classes, then criticized 5 days later for not making significant impacts in the resource classes.  After teaching these children less than 1 week.

I began to dread coming in to school.  I was leaving my home at 5:45 every morning, getting to school at 7am, working nonstop until 4:30, then driving home for an hour and then continuing to work from home on lesson plans and activities, trying to run my business which was floundering, and deal with the fact that my husband, who suffers from bipolar disorder, was not adjusting well at all to our new life, AND let’s not forget I’m a mother with 3 young kids at home (and an adult kid that I miss terribly) really hit me hard.

I began to have panic attacks several times a day every day.  I was having nightmares every night.

My anxiety and depression was triggered anew.  I had to leave the job.

Most of you who know me know that my childhood was shit.  I lost my mother under dubious circumstances when I was very young and then dealt with an unstable and very physically and emotionally abusive environment at home from the time I was 9 until I was an adult.

I will never blame my circumstances on the past.  But I will say the past helped mold me and played part in decisions I’ve made, both good and bad.

The past destroyed my self-esteem and here I am at age 44 still trying to build it up. I was on an upward swing because here I was, accepted into a prestigious program that tens of thousands of people were vying to get into, hired by a school I thought was going to work well for me, and giving my husband and kids the better quality of life they deserve.

And then school happened and I felt myself slip backwards into a quagmire of self-loathing, anxiety, depression, and a constant fear that something bad was going to happen. It was debilitating.

Always Keep Fighting and I am Stigma Free

At VegasCon I had the privilege of speaking to Jared Padalecki about the Always Keep Fighting campaign.  Jared had just launched the campaign and was selling shirts to raise funds for the cause.

I had designed a bracelet that I felt best represented the message: an aluminum cuff stamped simply with the words “always keep fighting”.  I had chosen aluminum because it’s lightweight and meant to make us feel as if burdens are being lifted away by the message; it wasn’t weighing us down.

I explained to Jared that I wanted to sell these bracelets and donate a portion of the proceeds to the cause and his words were, “This is  awesome! I say go for it!”

With his blessing I began to make the bracelets.

Always Keep Fighting - Jared Approved, SPNFamily Supported

Always Keep Fighting – Jared Approved, SPNFamily Supported

AKF Leather

I created a leather version as well for those who have metal allergies or just prefer the look.

The response from all of you has been so overwhelming.  I am beyond grateful for your support!

Mitch Kosterman has his Always Keep Fighting cuff - and he also helped me understand I am Stigma Free

Mitch Kosterman has his Always Keep Fighting cuff – and he also helped me understand I am Stigma Free

In speaking with Mitch Kosterman, I realized that not only do we need a message to remind us to always keep fighting, but we need to address the judgment that is passed by those who don’t understand mental illness.  The assumptions that are made.

“Oh, man up and get over it already.”

“He’s just being lazy.”

“Throwing a pity party.”

“Looking for attention.”

“Trying to get out of working.  I saw him laughing earlier, there’s nothing wrong.”

These are all things I’ve heard either about myself or a loved one that is suffering from a mental illness.

Mitch really helped me understand that it’s a widespread issue and not just my own isolated experiences.

So I introduced another piece, I am Stigma Free.  I believe that both messages support each other and that we cannot be successful in fighting if we don’t shed the stigma that comes along with our illness.

I am stigma free - never apologize for who you are

I am stigma free – never apologize for who you are

I am donating 50% of the proceeds from each and every Always Keep Fighting and I Am Stigma Free bracelet.

To date, we have raised $1,208 for Always Keep Fighting.  I am so proud of us.

Paying it Forward with Rock the Monkey, Homeboy Industries, & SupportSPN

Rock the Monkey:

Part of what helps me heal is doing things for others.  I have a Random Acts approved fundraiser called Rock the Monkey where I am donating 100% of the proceeds to the cause.  Here’s Osric modeling one of the barrettes (coming soon!).

Osric is the perfect model for the upcoming Rock the Monkey barrettes!

Osric is the perfect model for the upcoming Rock the Monkey barrettes!

Available right now are earrings and necklaces!

Rock the Monkey Necklace Round Style!

Rock the Monkey Necklace Round Style!

Rock the Monkey Teardrop

Rock the Monkey Necklace Teardrop Style!

Rock the Monkey Earrings

Rock the Monkey Earrings!

Homeboy Industries:

The lovely Lauren Tom introduced me to Homeboy Industries at SeaCon several months ago – the good that this organization does defies description.  They provide so many free services to former gang members in the LA area.  You can help by donating to my Homeboy Industries page where I am raising funds to benefit this awesome organization! View my page here: https://support.homeboyindustries.org/fundraise?fcid=449205

The beautiful Lauren Tom wearing the Love of Mrs. Tran, which she Lauren auctioned off in Europe to raise funds for Homeboy Industries!

The beautiful Lauren Tom wearing the Love of Mrs. Tran, which she Lauren auctioned off in Europe to raise funds for Homeboy Industries!

Carry On

This site is a plethora of support for Supernatural fans and their friends and families.  I designed a bracelet where a portion of the proceeds is donated to this wonderful group: http://t.co/LkMVAaCBUv

Now What?

I finally got it through my head that the only time I work well is when I work for myself, so I’ve thrown myself full time into my jewelry.  I’m determined (desperate??) to make this work.

If you want to know how you can be a part of making this happen and also to earn gift certificates towards my jewelry, you can do so via my GoFundMe page:

http://www.gofundme.com/EldwennesFantasySPN
My Go Fund Me campaign allows me to buy supplies, cover travel expenses so I can vend at conventions, and keep my business afloat until it’s strong enough to sustain itself.

I also have a livestream show, So Get This  on my YouTube channel where I chat with you about Supernatural, being a Supernatural fan, and sometimes have kick ass guests such as previous guests Briana Buckmaster, Nicki Aycox, Ruth Connell, Lauren Tom, Katherine Ramdeen, and YOU!  Shannon Price of Chickie and Bean, Carrie Anderson, and Debbi Bachman have all graced me with their presence and you can catch their episodes here on my YouTube channel:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOf8tnzLHRP8fN0j0n_0BoA

I’m still struggling with anxiety and depression.  I always will, it’s engrained in who I am.  I’m not apologetic for it – I refuse to be.  Are people apologizing because they have heart disease or diabetes?  Of course not.

I am not apologizing for being sick.  I am stigma free.  I will always keep fighting, thanks to you, my #SPNFamily.

Tennessee 6 Months Later, Not Being Afraid to Say No More, and What’s in a Name?

Has it really been SIX MONTHS??? Wow oh wow…so what happened in the past 6 months can be properly summarized as: I came, I saw, my ass has been thoroughly kicked.
Education is THE toughest field I’ve ever worked in. So tough that I needed to end that last sentence with a preposition and to not give a shit.  At least I balanced the previous sentence.  And I’m not even teaching English, I’m teaching math.

So all of you who know me can stop laughing RIGHT NOW.  Yup, I’m teaching math, so what? It gets better.  I’m teaching 5th grade math.  And 6th grade math.  And I co-teach 7th grade math.  Now for those of you who are not dead on the floor of side-splitting laughter, I’ll continue my bitching.

Now most of you know I used to teach at a homeless shelter.  That was a CAKEWALK compared to what I’m dealing with.  My students come from very harsh realities that no one should ever have to face. It’s heart-wrenching to see how children at the age of 10 are already so disillusioned with the world that they have built up callousness and ambivalence I’ve never encountered before in many of the adults I’ve taught.

Now take the teaching factor into consideration and what have you got?  A whole lot of heartache, self-doubt, and an emotional roller coaster from hell.

Add in the masters degree I was pursuing, a family, a husband who is disabled, and what have you got NOW?  Way too much on your plate.

I’ve learned so much about myself in the past six months and I’ve grown.  I learned that I don’t have to be the hero all the time, that I do need to recognize my limitations, and that it’s OK to walk away from something that isn’t right for me.

The results?  I’ve decided to not pursue my masters degree, which means that at the end of my two year commitment with Teach for America I most likely won’t be able to teach anymore since the licensure rules are changing for special education.

I don’t feel guilty, which was unexpected.  I feel liberated.  I spent over 20 years in corporate America living with a heavy heart, feeling like I had no choice, no options.  I will not do that to myself again.

I don’t regret moving down to Tennessee, I’m extremely happy down here.  I don’t regret teaching either, I just wish it was something that I felt better about.  They say the first year is always the hardest and I sure as shit believe it.  But it’s more than first year jitters.  I know myself well enough to know when something isn’t sitting well with me.  I can’t live my life striving to please those that will never be pleased.  I have to do what’s best for me.

So what does that mean for me after Teach for America?  No idea.  But I’ve been branching out a bit more with my jewelry, including partnering up with my best friend, Shannon Price to introduce a brand new line of t-shirts that we’re extremely proud of.  Yup, ended that one with a preposition too. (How sad is it that my personal affront to education is only as severe as bad grammar?)

https://www.etsy.com/shop/Eldwenne?section_id=16377137&ref=shopsection_leftnav_2

Come check out our Supernatural Inspired t-shirts!  These babies can be purchased online now or I will be taking orders for them in person at SFCon in January!

Are you a Deanmon Girl??

Are you a Deanmon Girl??

I know I sure as shit would too!

I know I sure as shit would too!

Try not to cry while wearing this one

Try not to cry while wearing this one

I know it definitely had an impact on mine - tell us about how it saved yours!

I know it definitely had an impact on mine – tell us about how it saved yours!

This line is the epitome of the bond between the boys

This line is the epitome of the bond between the boys

Well, do you?

Well, do you?

How many times in our lives would it have been awesome to hear this? Well, the "for the right reasons" part.  Heard plenty of the "you were stupid"....

How many times in our lives would it have been awesome to hear this? Well, the “for the right reasons” part. Heard plenty of the “you were stupid”….

Now back to my crankiness – I’ve been getting some flack about the names I choose for my Supernatural inspired jewelry.

I get messages on etsy, even people approaching me at conventions, telling me my names are wrong, they don’t agree with them, I mustn’t watch the show, blah blah blah.

I thought maybe it’d be helpful to articulate exactly what I do when I work on a Supernatural Inspired piece of jewelry.

Please note that I call these pieces ‘Supernatural Inspired.’

Each of the characters on the show affect me in some way, as I assume they do most fans.  Each piece takes an extraordinary amount of time to develop, design, and fine tune before it’s something I considered to be finished.

So exactly what am I doing when I’m developing, designing and fine-tuning?  I’m taking a character that I’m connecting with and thinking about an aspect of that character that’s resonating with me.  For example, let’s talk about The Tenacity of Dean Winchester – the first Dean piece I ever created.

Dean Winchester radiates with courage, perseverance, and true grit.  The one word that pulls these words together for me is tenacity.

I chose the color green for Dean not because of his eyes, like so many people assume, it’s much deeper than that.  For me, the color green represents bravery, steadfastness, and truth.  Qualities that I associate with the character.

Dean’s weapon of choice is his gun, thus to pay homage to the character I chose to include a pistol. Dean would never go anywhere without it and neither would this piece.

The one common thread that most of my pieces have is the wrapped strands that appear to be chaotic but are actually controlled.

The reason for that?  While each of the characters have their set ways and personalities, as we’ve all learned over the years about these characters is that nothing is ever static, everything can change.  The variety in the lines; their appearance of being random, is actually quite deliberate on my part.

Back to my point – for someone to come up to me and say that I shouldn’t name a piece what I’ve named it – well, that’s the same as walking up to someone and telling them you don’t agree with what they’ve named their kid.  They have their reasons, personal or not so personal as to why they chose the name they did.  As do I.

Each piece is made with my heart and so much intention to represent MY interpretation of the characters.  Hey, don’t get me wrong – I’m always up for healthy debates.  There have been fans who approach me at cons and ASK me why I named a piece what I did and we talk about it.  But then there are people who just outright TELL me I’m “wrong”, “don’t you watch the show” or have a snarky “if you watched episode 6.2 and freeze framed it at precisely 32.5 minutes in, you’ll clearly see that you’re wrong.”  The shoot first and maybe if I feel like it I’ll ask questions later attitude.  It’s hurtful, uncalled for, and definitely not what the SPN Family is all about.

Everyone is entitled to their own interpretation, so let’s please show each other respect.  I’m not saying don’t ever ask me about my work – I am HONORED to be asked about it – nothing warms me more than having people care enough to ask me about my process, why did I make the piece, etc.  What I am saying is that if you don’t like strangers approaching you and telling you something that’s dear to you is wrong, please don’t do it to someone else.

I’m happy to say that 99% of my encounters with fans are wonderful, amazing, and I’ve made lifelong friends of many of them.  The 1% that were hurtful were pretty damn hurtful, and one was as recent as yesterday, hence my post.

Lastly, my best friend, Shannon, (designer of the amazing t-shirts!) said this to me, “bc you are an artist, the negativity is a catalyst to create more beautiful work.  Name your next piece ‘go fuck yourself’” – ok, I MIGHT not use that title, but she’s absolutely right and I’ve been taking this to heart and have been creating MANY new pieces!

Come say hi to the newest in my Supernatural Inspired series:

The Initiation of Sheriff Donna

The Initiation of Sheriff Donna

The Guile of Rowena

The Guile of Rowena

The Fortitude of Jo Harvelle

The Fortitude of Jo Harvelle

The Devotion of Ellen Harvelle

The Devotion of Ellen Harvelle

The Propriety of Death

The Propriety of Death

The Soul of Sam Winchester Earrings!

The Soul of Sam Winchester Earrings!

The Soul of Sam Winchester Ring

The Soul of Sam Winchester Ring

Sam and Dean Winchester Brotherly Bond

Sam and Dean Winchester Brotherly Bond

I’ll be in San Francisco next month and I hope to see you! Sigh…so good to be back!