Learning to recognize truths. Well what the hell do I mean by that one, you’re thinking. Or not, it’s ok, I can take it – because I CAN RECOGNIZE THAT TRUTH. Get it? Not yet? Let me explain…
As everyone who’s been reading this blog knows, my family and I have had our challenges set out before us. Not gonna get into the specifics of it here, but if you’re so inclined, please check my post from two weeks ago: https://jewelrybyjodizulueta.com/2013/11/01/teaching-for-america-what-kind-of-discounts-move-you-tell-me-and-win-a-gift-certificate-and-do-i-need-to-start-liking-country-music/
As difficult as these experiences have been for us – they’ve been freeing as well. “Sokath, his eyes uncovered!” Go check it out, Trekkies.
There are people we’ve surrounded ourselves with for years. Since childhood. ‘Friends’. ‘Family’.
Bobby Singer had it right when he growled out, “Family don’t end with blood, boy!”
I have people I have known since grammar school, high school, college, etc. I also have family members that have been in my life since childhood. And some family members that I’ve been fortunate enough to reconnect with fairly recently.
Some of these ‘friends’ from grammar school, high school, and college – not one single phone call. Not one single email to say, “Hey, how are you?” I have actually gotten a couple of snarky emails from so-called friends with hints of jealousy that I lost my job of all things. Seriously. They’re upset that I lost my job, but not because I’m unemployed. They’re upset because they’re still employed. Nuts you say?
This is where I began to learn how to recognize the truth. It only took me 4 decades.
So I hadn’t heard from pretty much anyone after I lost my job. Two months later, I emailed one of these ‘friends’, giving her the benefit of the doubt that maybe she does care, since she used to email me multiple times a day every day when I was working.
Now that I wasn’t working in an office (but working my ass off on my jewelry), maybe I was out of sight/out of mind and it’s an honest mistake. I recognize that truth.
She replied a couple of days later and it kind of sent me reeling. Her remark, “I’ve been so busy with holding down a full time job and doing homework with my son every night” took the wind out of my sails. OUCH.
I have never not worked from the time I was 16 years old. I never lost a job before. I never collected unemployment before. So she’s pissed that not only does she have a job BUT she has a child that she has to help do homework??
Talk about your first world problems…about 18 different memes just came to mind, if only I knew how to make those damn things…
What bothered me most of all was something else she had written. She wrote about how she thinks she has what my husband has because of a few nightmares she had. That was the moment I finally recognized the truth.
For anyone who has suffered from depression or has loved someone suffering from depression – you all know you do NOT compare yourself to the one suffering. It’s insulting. Demeaning.
My husband was hospitalized at one point because of his struggles with depression. It’s not the blues, it’s not ‘oh I’m having a bad day/week’, it’s debilitating.
But this isn’t new for her. I should’ve expected it. This is the kind of person where if you have a headache – she’s got brain cancer.
If you stubbed your toe – she’s got an amputation scheduled.
Do I need this emotional vampire in my life? NOPE! Why? Because I can finally see the truth for what it really is. No more excuses being made for other people’s behaviors and shortcomings.
The family members that we just reunited with not too long ago? They can’t do enough for us. Even if we go for a length of time without emailing, I know in my heart that I am as much in their thoughts as they are in mine. There’s no question.
Last night we had a horrible time with our van. We went out to Staten Island and while making a turn, our wheel fell off our van. Yup – just fell off.
Trying to make light of it, I posted a pic of the mishap to Facebook. I have family that I’ve not seen in the longest time over in Brooklyn and they messaged me last night to make sure we were ok. They have an 8 year old and a 1 year old at home and they were ready to come pick us up and take us back to Jersey City.
Same thing for family in Jersey City that texted me to come into Staten Island and pick us up.
I have friends that I’ve not seen in years who messaged me to make sure we were ok, even though there was nothing they could’ve possibly done, they wanted us to know they were thinking of us.
And the friends that I’ve made in my handmade jewelry journey – I’ve only met them a short while ago and I feel as if I’ve known them forever. And they’ve been more of a friend to me than most have been my entire life.
I LOVE the fact that many of my customers that I’ve met at the Salute to Supernatural conventions and Vampire Diaries conventions friend me on Facebook, take the time to email me and actually become friends with me.
There are some friends that I’ve only met online and they’ve been more supportive than people who have grown up with me.
People in other countries. Other states.
What has this all taught me then? That I choose who I want to surround myself and my family with. It has nothing to do with blood lines, legal documents, just because we’ve known each other X amount of years, etc – IT’S SPRING CLEANING FOR THE EMOTIONAL CLOSETS TIME, GANG!
It’s sooooo liberating. I now can recognize the truth. See things for what they really are. They don’t seem like friends or don’t seem like family BECAUSE THEY’RE NOT.
Listening to that good old gut instinct is so freeing. So if I were to leave one word of advice behind – it would be to always ALWAYS trust your feelings. You feel that way for a reason.
You will feel so much better for being honest with yourself and taking action to make yourself happier.
The floodgates of creativity have been unleashed as a result of my recent introspection:
This is a piece I did with just that in mind. Included on this piece are all of the Supernatural characters – related by blood or by circumstance – that are family.
If you were to make a bracelet like this with people from your life – who would make the cut? Think about that!
I’ve taken the reins and am forging ahead. Too many new and exciting things to look forward to. No need to waste my energy and time on people who are simply just not worth it.
So BurCon, Salute to Supernatural is coming! This time next week I’ll be in the vendor room working my fingers away at custom orders for the amazing fans I’m going to meet – exciting!!
I’m going to have my amazing 9 year old son, Phoenix with me – please be prepared to laugh. He is everything short of a stand-up comedian. And an excellent cook, by the way. If you read his blog – phoenixphenomfood.wordpress.com you’ll know that already.
What I’m looking forward to most of all is that I’m going to be with my Aunt Doree. Really looking forward to being able to spend quality time with her, my Uncle Jeff, my cousin Jenny, and her pet snakes (they’re gorgeous!). My cousin Alexis and her beautiful little boy Zane are coming in as well – whoo hoo!
It’s going to be a great time creating a lot of fun memories. And hopefully I’ll be creating some of those memories for YOU!
Like this lovely lady:
She commissioned me to make her an “I love Castiel” necklace back at TorCon – she wears it beautifully!
I’m really super proud of this piece – it’s one of the coolest things I made there!! I loved how the texturing came out.
I LOVE the fact that she asked for the large wing. I originally wanted to use a different charm but Melstiel insisted on the larger one – and she was 1000% correct – just look at it!! And what Melstiel doesn’t realize is that I’m going to be asking her to be an upcoming Featured Customer of the Month – so Melstiel, if you’re reading this, message me on FB to let me know if you’re cool with that! Nothing like putting my friends on the spot, lol!
I have so many new pieces that are going to be coming your way next week at BurCon – I have gorgeous handpainted coffin jewelry boxes inspired by Supernatural like one that is painted like the Impala (with a devil’s trap when you open the lid!), keychains, and Eldwenne’s Mystery Hex Bags!
The Hex Bags are going to being a blast – you won’t know what’s inside! It could be a necklace, a bracelet, a keychain…who knows??
I’ll also have gift certificates available for sale as well in case you want to get some holiday shopping underway!
I’ll also be selling the most awesome t-shirts, hoodies and beanies – Clifhanger gear!!!
My beautiful friend, Shannon designed these groovy wearables and I’ll be doing her and Clif a favor and manning their Clifhanger table at BurCon!
If you’re a Supernatural fan, then you’re a Clifhanger – simple as that. Clif Kosterman, Bodyguard4JandJ is the man who keeps Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles safe and sound.
He’s also an incredibly generous soul who cares a lot about the Supernatural fans. Let’s show some Clifhangin’ support and buy the best t-shirts, beanies and hoodies you will ever lay your eyes on!
Come check out the Clifhangers page www.facebook.com/Clifhangers
I wanted to remind you that there are just a little over 30 days left for my Click Start Me campaign and I need your help promoting/sharing my Click Start Me page:
The funds I raise with my Click Start Me campaign go towards the following:
– Travel expenses to get to the conventions where I can meet you and personalize pieces just for you!
– Much needed supplies and materials to create new pieces (that’s how my new line of hand-stamped pieces was born – through your generous donations!)
– Educational opportunities to learn new techniques and mediums
– Some venues charge high table fees to vend with them – this helps make these venues more attainable to me so that I can connect with you in person!
I have great rewards in return for your generosity! ALL donations receive a gift certificate worth the amount of your donation at Eldwenne’s Fantasy: http://www.eldwenne.etsy.com INCLUDING CUSTOM ORDERS, by the way!
For example, if you donate $20, you will receive a gift certificate worth $20.
If you donate $25 or more, I will add an ADDITIONAL $25 to your gift certificate!!
For example, if you donate $25, you will receive a gift certificate worth $50! If you donate $50, you will receive a gift certificate worth $75! There’s no limit!! I will always add $25 to all gift certificates on donations of $25 or more!
It doesn’t stop there. I always give rewards to those who share my link with someone who donates!
If you share my link http://tinycs.me/9T with someone who donates, you will receive a gift certificate for $25!
Remember – my gift certificates never expire!! They’re valid until they’re spent! Their value never goes down if you don’t use them right away. A gift certificate’s value is what it is – no fees, no expiration dates – just opportunities to buy one of a kind, handmade jewelry!
Thank you all for reading! I hope to see you all at BurCon next week!! Until then, remember to trust your instincts!!